bleeding-heart-335186_1280

My Stupidly Sentimental heart

It seems that these days
My life is being shadowed
By its yesterdays
My mind always revisiting the past
Remembering people and places
I have missed
Just a bunch of nostalgic crap, really
Yet it keeps coming back
Like a track, set on replay
Of old joys and sorrows

And I am surprised on some days
When memories that were hidden
In the corners of my mind
Appear out of nowhere
To be seen in today’s daydreams
Or during the meditation
That begins a new poem
As though my private reflections
Are begging to be written down

So these days, what has become
The focus of my poetry
Are these idle wanderings
Of an empty nest
From the lonely mind
Of a middle-aged woman
With a stupidly sentimental heart
Whose mornings are spent
Sipping on hot coffee
While contemplating
The mysteries of her life

And if life is a plan, or a test
Uniquely tailored for each of us
Then maybe the old recollections
Are a crucial message for me
In my journey of enlightenment
And maybe these reminiscences
Are the leftover lessons
Where I had somehow missed
Their significance
The unanswered questions
Or the things I never figured out
Left unfinished and unlearned
Or the challenges where I failed
And the mistakes I had made
Whose explanations or apologies
Have just needed to be said
My soul now seeking its destiny

Because I had once run away
From my stupidly sentimental heart
Hiding from the hardest emotions
And conflicted by the internal battle
Between the emotional and the rational
That was tossed around in my head
In every important decision
I’d ever made
With the biggest lessons in my life
Learned from mistakes
And only recognized years later
By the regret that was left

So I have slowly learned
To accept and to understand
This internal struggle
And am no longer willing
To let my heart play second fiddle
Or to rationalize my feelings
But to trust in my intuition
Listening to voices
Heard in the wind
And immersing myself
In the bittersweet sorrows
That make life wonderful

And if that sounds crazy
It doesn’t bother me any more
Because I am enjoying
The cornucopia of emotions
Attached to the old memories
And my eyes are wide open
To letting my heart win
Embracing and accepting
The melancholic feelings
That are found in the musings
Of my stupidly sentimental heart
For they have inspired me
For as long as I can remember

2 Comments

  • CptKD commented on July 2, 2015

    Stil. – You continue to move me . . .
    Touching places no one dare go
    Or entertain entering

    While I think of you often
    A stranger, friend?
    Forever mentoring

    I get lost in your words
    Wander your heart
    Lost in the strings

    I cry at the aches
    Buckle down to pains
    Soar softly in the wings

    Today as I travel
    Roads long and wide
    Songs take me far away

    I hit a rodeo blue
    Bringing me directly to you
    Imagination’s gone astray

    Compass calling out
    For calibration again
    And again

    Ignoring its requests
    I set the car on cruise
    This is about our wants

    I sing to the songs
    My heart inside, longs
    I feel the teasing taunts

    Taking new directions
    You inspire me once more
    Lifting limits, one-way streets. . .

    I feel my spirit soar
    My soul is lifted up, and high
    My spine tingles as the smile,

    . . . Rises from within me!

    ;+) xo

    • suzanne commented on July 10, 2015

      Thank you so much for that very poetic comment!

Comments are closed